If you've ever wanted to tow a boat safely and proficiently, pay close attention. Note everything this guy does, and then: Don't to any of that. Simple.
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It’s a friggin’ miracle nobody was killed - not even ‘our hero’. So not even the gene pool emerged victorious in the aftermath of that crash…
It’s always been utterly shocking to me that you could spend 30 years driving a friggin’ Yaris, then inherit the farm, whatever, and spend grandpappy’s big bucks on some shitbox ute, hook up the 3500-kilo QE2 and drive off into the sunset until … well … until that kinda shit happens.
I guess it’s a feedback effect of having utes with really powerful diesel engines - 400 or 500 Newton-metres - and massively unjustifiable tow capacities. Getting to a high speed feels effortless, until resonance takes over and it all comes unglued, as if by magic. #ArthurCClarke
And I don’t know but I’m tipping the genius responsible for this near-death mayhem is not sitting there morosely blaming himself, today. He’s most probably busily filling in insurance claims - probably writing stuff like ‘the trailer became unstable and the car just lost control’.
If that is the case, I would retort: ‘What a load of horseshit, you disingenuous mother-lover. Trailers do not become spontaneously unstable. Cars don’t just lose control. If they did, there would be a royal fucking commission. The grim facts here are that people fuck up. They decline to be accountable for it, if there’s an afterwards. And they blame something else. Hence, the car just ‘goes out of control.’
Please. Don’t waste my time with these intellectually indefensible failures to accept responsibility for one’s stupid choices.
Small round of applause, however, to the civil engineers who designed the roadside restraint systems - the Armco railing and those beefier railings over the bridge that kept the whole combination on the bitumen, and extended the time duration of the collision - the ultimate happy ending, right there. Despite Captain Mayhem’s best efforts.
Four separate impacts with the railing there - watch it again, and see what a great job that railing does redirecting the vehicle away from the trees and keeping it out of the creek…
Very well done, civil engineering dudes. And, bonus points for the two full spins by the boat, while overtaking the tow vehicle. That’s precision. Even remembered to park it on the left. (#’Straya.)
Big shout out to the dudes at Dash Cam Owners Arse-trailer for posting this award-winning video entry on their awesomely entertaining YouTube channel. You should check it out: Dash Cam Owners Australia.
Good safety tip: If you’re towing anything these holidays, take a careful note of everything you’ve just seen here and - I dunno - maybe don’t do any of that. You could try … ahhhh … you could try not driving like a hyper-aggressive bag of rabid dicks. Just a suggestion.
Unless of course you want to launch the boat in a hurry. I mean, most people … have you noticed … they fuck around for ages at the boat ramp, lining it up, whatever. They tie up the ramp for hours. What you’ve just seen is a very impressive dismount … I think you’d agree, if the circumstances were just slightly different.
That’s probably how Michael Bay launches his boat, when you think about it.
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